I Surprised 195 Wedding Guests: Advice for Fundraisers

On August 16th my husband and I were married in Vancouver. We saw our “big day” not only as a joining of the two of us, but as uniting of 200 friends and family.

In the weeks leading up to the wedding, I wondered how we would find time to greet everyone personally. How would our nearest and dearest know how much it meant to have them join us — many flying, driving, or boarding ferries to be with us?

Fortunately, I had about 195 tricks up my sleeve!

The Surprise

And that’s where I took a page out of fundraising …

I decided to tell each and every guest what they meant to us with a handwritten note.

Those who know me well already know I keep hundreds of cards on hand for every occasion. So, I printed our seating chart, gathered my cards, and sifted through to find the right one for each person.

Then I wrote and wrote.

Each card was embossed, sealed, and organized by table and seat. (One couple, celebrating their 39th anniversary that evening, received anniversary cards instead.)

The hotel team placed each card under the charger plate. The moment the second course was cleared, guests discovered an envelope with their name on it.

The surprise was electric. People shared and compared cards (there were no duplicates at any table).

[Reader, my dear husband-to-be knew nothing about this — it was the second surprise I had kept for the wedding day!]

The Power of Feeling Seen

After the wedding, guests wrote me:

“I am in awe of your personalized notes to everyone.”

“Your wonderful cards at our places were delightful.”

“The individual cards you left for each of us were so thoughtful, thank you!”

“Thank you so much for the beautiful, handwritten, and personalized note. It's such a lost art, and opening and reading it truly brought a tear to my eye. I’ll cherish it forever.”

What made these notes special wasn’t the design or even the sheer volume. It was that they were specific. Each person felt seen. Each person knew I had paused, thought about them, and put into words what they meant to me and Frank.

That’s the secret to writing something meaningful: specificity and presence.

The Fundraiser’s Lesson

As I watched friends and family reading and sharing their cards, I realized: this is exactly what moves donors, too.

We sometimes think a “thank you note” can be generic, dashed off quickly. But what donors (and friends, and colleagues) remember isn’t the polite formula — it’s the personal recognition.

When you take the time to be specific, you shift the message from transaction to transformation.

• Instead of “Thanks for supporting our campaign,” write:
  “Because of your gift, the kids at Preston High will walk into a fully equipped science lab this fall. We can’t wait for you to see it.”
• Instead of “We appreciate your generosity,” write:
  “Your leadership gift reminded us how deeply you care for this community. Your gift inspired others to give, too.”

Words hit differently when they’re personal.

Simple, Not Easy

Writing 195 cards was relatively simple for me (IYKYK — I think about the person and our connection, then let my feelings flow through the pen). And it was worth every hour it took.

Here’s the truth: when people feel seen, they feel loved. They feel valued. They feel part of something larger.

That’s as true for a wedding guest as it is for a donor.

Here’s Your Next Step

So, if you want to surprise and delight someone — whether in life or in fundraising — don’t wait for the “perfect words.” Just be present, be specific, and let the connection speak.

Write the email. Send the card. Tell them what they mean to you.

As the Latin proverb says: “Verba volant, scripta manent.” Spoken words fly away, but written words remain.

And in a beautiful twist: the banquet staff were so impressed that I’d written a note for every guest that they surprised me, too. When I returned to the sweetheart table awaiting the main course, I found a handwritten card tucked under my charger — written by them to me. It was the perfect reminder that generosity inspires generosity.

Pro Tip: Next time you’re tempted to send a quick “thank you” email, pause. Ask yourself: What’s one specific detail I could add that would make this person feel truly seen? That’s where the magic lives.

My dear friend and wedding guest Rachel Zant, shared her experience of receiving my card in this LinkedIn post. 

 Shout out to my friend and fundraising BFF John Lepp for sharing his image of souvenirs from my wedding!