Make the most of a donor's most valuable resource

As I noted in a recent post, for too long, in-person meetings have been the gold standard of “major gifts productivity.” We celebrate them. We’re evaluated on them. Sometimes we even tie our career self-worth to how many donor meetings we’ve landed.

But from a donor’s perspective? That metric can feel extractive.

Time is a donor's most precious, non-renewable resource

And yet fundraisers constantly ask for more of it.

I get it. Before 2020, it was often easy to meet donors in person... sometimes even four in a day. Now, things have shifted:

Harder to connect: "Americans are now spending more time alone than ever," author Derek Thompson noted in his article "The Anti-Social Century" in The Atlantic this January. 

Declining trust: Confidence in institutions,  including nonprofits, has dropped significantly. Take a moment to review Gallup data from 2002 to 2025 in the U.S. or Edelman Trust Barometer data from Canadians.

Donor fatigue: Transactional fundraising frustrates donors who want to “live their values” through giving. Donors are more interested in a "philanthropic partner" rather than a "call center" attitude.

What I've Learned

Working with high-net-worth donors has taught me that many prefer clarity over formality.

A concise email, a set of talking points, or a one-page white paper often serves them better than a polished, 20-page proposal. They want the bones of what the nonprofit needs and the impact it will create and then they’ll ask their own questions, in their own way, whether by phone, email, or in person.

I came to prefer bringing talking points into meetings, a way to clarify with the donor first, then offering to send a tailored proposal afterward.

Here’s the twist: when we practice being concise, listening more, and aligning with what matters most to donors, we don’t just serve them better — we become better fundraisers.

Instead of perfecting what’s on paper, we learn to artfully listen, to weave their values into our mission’s story (see my earlier post on  Storylistening and Storyweaving).

And the best way to know how a donor wants to communicate? Ask them.

Not what their “love language” is but what's their preferred “giving language.”

• "Do you prefer something to review first, then a conversation?"

• "Do you want one in-person meeting a year, or would Zoom/ or a phone call work better for you?"

• "Do you prefer emails that give the update in 2 paragraphs? Or do you enjoy more information?"

This year, with so many asks arriving by mail, email, social, phone - and yes, in person - why not create partnerships with donors on their terms?

Even if it doesn’t tick every KPI box, it may deepen trust and generosity in ways the old playbook never could.