Guide the Conversation: Keep It About the Donor, Impact-Centered and Purposeful

Welcome to my B.R.I.D.G.E. blog series, a six-part guide for building stronger, more sustainable donor relationships. Each post explores one part of the B.R.I.D.G.E. Framework, my connection-based approach to major gift fundraising.

Many fundraisers think that once a donor gives, the heavy lifting is done. But the truth is, great fundraisers keep the conversation going—with care.

This next step in the B.R.I.D.G.E. framework is about how you Guide the Conversation—in a way that honors the donor, deepens engagement, and keeps the door open.

What Does It Mean to “Guide”?

Think of yourself as a conversational Sherpa -- not dragging the donor up the mountain, but walking alongside and helping them navigate the journey.

This includes:

• Knowing when to lead the conversation, when to follow their conversational lead, and when to give space
• Listening for their values and clues to their affinity to your mission impact
• Asking thoughtful questions for greater understanding

In uncertain times, a confident guide is invaluable. Donors don’t want to feel alone. Philanthropy is based in trust, and they want to know that they are making a good decision in choosing to give to your nonprofit, or continuing to invest there. They also want to feel seen and supported.

A Donor Story: The “What’s Next” Question

A donor I worked with made her largest single pledge to our organization - and largest she had made to any organization. She was proud. She was doing something BIG to an organization that could made a difference about something important to HER. Later, next time I saw her, I asked:

“What feels important to you in this next chapter of this partnership?”

She paused. “No fundraiser has ever asked me that before.” And she had a lot to say! How this gift might touch the lives of many others for years to come. That she was saying to herself, to her children and to the public, "This matters." That conversation became the start of a deeper, more aligned philanthropic journey.

Two Actions You Can Take This Month to Guide More Intentionally

1. End Every Donor Meeting with a Next Step

Whether it’s scheduling a follow-up, sending a proposal, or inviting them to an event, seek ways to guide and continue connection. That includes finding something to which a supporter can offer a "Yes."

• “May I put together some talking points from our conversation, so we can discuss your support of X moving forward?"
• "May I reach out after the summer to discuss next steps/ your gift?"
• And even if you get a no, that doesn't mean you should back away or stop speaking with the donor. "I appreciate that now might not be the right time. "Might I connect with you in a few months to offer a progress report on The Project you've been supporting?”
• "Would you like to know about 2 upcoming events we are hosting this summer?"
• "Do you know someone who shares these same values about ______ and who might like to join you to learn more about changes we are making in the area of <education/ the environment/ etc.>? We have a "Town Hall" meeting next month..."

Small yeses now create space for bigger yeses later.

Ask Donors to Reflect on the Future

Not every conversation needs to be about the next gift or attending an event. You might also try questions like:

• “What are you most proud of around your giving over the last 5 years?”
• “When you think about what might change in this area of work <education/ the environment/ etc.>  over the next 10 years, What are you eager to see as part of a changed future?”

When you guide the conversation, you help the donor step more fully into their role as a partner, and also as their more ideal self.

The Upshot

When you gently guide the donor dialogue, you show leadership, not pushiness. And in uncertain times, that steady presence makes all the difference.

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This is Part 5 of the B.R.I.D.G.E. series:

Build Connection
Rapport – Establish or Reestablish
Invite to Action
Deepen the Trust
Guide the Conversation
Extend the Relationship

Read first part here 

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Want to build strong donor relationships—where they continue to give in good times and challenging times?
Let’s find a time to talk about how I can help you and your team strengthen your major gift strategy.